Friday, December 17, 2010

An Open Letter Apology to Andy Reid

Dear Andy Reid,

Consider this my retirement letter from ever criticizing you in the future. I submit to your vast football knowledge. I can finally say, with all certainty, that you actually know more about the game than I do in my finite experience with Madden and flag football.

If you recall (since, ya know, you’re an avid reader of The People Say Booyah), I wrote something not too long ago saying that you had no idea what you were doing anymore. I said your time was running out, that you had lost your touch.

Be happy Andy. We now got your back.
So open your eyes real wide to make sure you read this. You may even want to imagine my extremely annoying and sometimes high-pitched squeaky voice saying this, just for an added effect.

I was wrong.

In fact, I was so wrong I considered pretending to be Billy King for even extra effect.

I’ve said so many mean things about you, and while most of them happened to be about your weight (in my defense, you seem to have gained some poundage since the season started, but that’s not the point); there was also some questioning of your abilities.

So from now on, I’m officially retiring from the making fun of Andy Reid business, including fat jokes. You may begin the celebration.

In that October post, I said that not only did we have to deal with your bewildering ability to butcher a game clock, which probably comes from your undying loyalty to obsolete butcher shops, (I’m sorry, this fat joke thing is going to be the hardest part to get over) but that we were also starting to feel the effects of bad personnel decisions. Looking at the talent on the field now, that obviously isn’t the case.

You gave us DeSean Jackson, LeSean McCoy, Jeremy Maclin and Brent Celek offensively. Your offensive line went from travesty in pass protection to moderately passable and flat out dominate in the running game. You drafted Trent Cole and relentlessly pursues Asante Samuel until he signed.

But these are things that I acknowledged. The main reason I was upset with you is your handling of the quarterbacks.

You were right to trade Donovan McNabb and it has become clearer and clearer as I watch him with unbiased eyes.

There’s no other way to say it but he stinks. And while you can’t (and shouldn’t) ever be forgiven for wasting so much of his youth with James Thrash and Todd Pinkston, you had one thing right: McNabb can’t play anymore. He’s making terrible decisions and making terrible throws. He’s really no different than Alex “Bag of Feces” Smith at this point. Even better, you stuck him with perpetually horrendous Washington and made them worse (so you can treat yourself to an extra doughnut…I’m still adjusting, sorry).

But you’re not getting this letter because Mike Shanahan can’t coach good quarterbacks (I still love you Donovan!). You know why you’re getting it and it’s that dazzling lefty wonder.

We should have seen this coming after you took has-been Jeff Garcia and made him redeemable in 2006 for a surprising playoff run, and after you took never-was AJ Feely from unknown backup to serviceable (before trading him and everyone realizing he stinks. Thanks for the second rounder Dolphins). But none of those projects stand up to what you’re doing now.

To put this in as simple terms as possible: you took a quarterback who under no circumstances in his past, had shown he wanted or could be a great quarterback. He didn’t work hard and always decided to run at the quickest moment. He was a breathtaking talent with a bad attitude. Essentially, he was like 90% of NBA lottery picks. Oh, and if you hadn’t heard, he went to jail for bankrolling a dog-fighting operation that made every little boy and girl cry their own tears.

There was limited interest in him coming out of jail (and by limited, I mean zero). You signed him and just about every time he came into the game, he did nothing. He looked slow. No one wanted to trade for him in the offseason. No one thought he had starting potential (including you by the way because you handed the job, sans competition, to Corn on the Kolb).

But you were working with him: on his footwork, decision making and accuracy. And the results have been staggering. Since Corn on the Kolb’s concussion (and honestly, Clay Matthews deserves a thank you letter himself, for giving us the chance to see Mr. Vick by delivering the decisive blow on Kolb), we have laid witness to your best coaching job ever.

First and foremost, you were willing to admit your mistake with Kolb (a big step for you considering your arrogance), and the results are well documented, with the Eagles poised for another playoff run.

You are a fantastic coach. You have been for 12 years. By far the greatest in Eagles history. And for once, I’m acknowledging the positive in a Philadelphia sports figure not named Iverson.

Appreciate and savor this moment, Andy. You’ve earned a free pass from me. I know how much that means to you

With Love,

Christian West
The People Say Booyah CEO, CFO, COO, Editor-in-Chief, Lead Columnist, Awesomer

P.S. This does not mean that I will never criticize anything you ever do. It means I trust you more. If you kick a field goal down 14 with 7 minutes left in the fourth quarter, I'm going to criticize. Just not want you fired or anything like that. In-game mistakes are different than the managing and broad-style coaching and that's where the free pass comes in. I'm glad we could clear this up.

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