NFL 2012 Playoff Preview: The Frequently Asked Questions

Will Aaron Rodgers and the Packers defend the championship belt?

The NFL playoffs are upon us and I’m still trying to get used to them starting without having to figure out when the Eagles will decide to kick me in the balls and go all R. Kelly on my dreams of seeing my favorite team win a Super Bowl. Though I must admit it is a relief to not worry about getting peed on.

But even though the Eagles aren’t in it (quick side note on the Eagles: they stunk this year and shouldn’t be in the playoffs, but that doesn’t mean they should have fired Andy Reid. You can’t name five better coaches than Reid. So unless Bill Belichick, Mike Tomlin, Mike McCarthy or Sean Payton is walking through that door [BREAKING: Sources say they are NOT walking through that door] there’s no reason to let him go. Teams are voluntarily keeping guys like Norv Turner and kicking the tires on unmitigated disasters like Josh McDaniels. So to all the moronic Eagles fans who chanted “Fire Andy” at the Patriots game and to the ones who have and will light up the talk radio stations to make up things about the last 13 seasons, shut the hell up. I stillgot your back Andy) and even though there are some legitimately bad teams in the playoffs (Bengals, Texans, Broncos and the total fraud Falcons), watching meaningful football is so much better than having to endure Bill Carmody’s continued assault on the beautiful game of basketball as Northwestern’s coach.

There’s a lot to get to and there’s no better way to do it than with the Frequently Asked Questions.

NFL Playoffs FAQ

The second best time of year is upon us, with Christmas easily being the best (thanks Mom and Dad!) and March Madness a solid third (would be first if so many of the games didn’t just become a three-point shooting contest). Or, as Eagles fans call it, the most agonizing, frustrating time of the year.

The NFL playoffs have finally arrived, which means we get to look back and forward at a pretty crazy season. And since the owners and players are arguing about how to split billions of dollars, we’re going to have to enjoy this one extra special. The only way to do that is with the Frequently Asked Questions.

How did those preseason picks turn out?

To quote Charles Barkley, tuurrrible.

I had three NFC East teams in the playoffs, and none of them named the Eagles (though to be fair, my Eagles pick had serious merit. Redskins? Not so much). I had the Cowboys and the Redskins both being good. Yikes.

I had the Bears 5-11, though to be fair, they kind of play like a 5-11 teams. That should be half points. If the Packers weren’t so decimated by injuries, they definitely could have gone 13-3.

I underrated the Falcons; I overrated the NFC West, big deal. I had the AFC North right and the AFC South almost right. I, like everyone else, believed in the frauds that are the San Diego Chargers. And I thought the Patriots were going to suck.

(Wait, you caught that last part? How could I think the Patriots were going to suck? Well, um, let’s just move on and pretend it didn’t happen. Alright, so I got it mostly wrong but their defense is bad.)

NFL Picks

It's Aaron Rodgers' world and we're just living in it.

This is really going to be a rare occurrence for the three regular readers of The People Say Booyah: a very short column.

I had a really elaborate plan to do the Frequently Asked Questions style column that I did for the NBA free agency review and then…I didn’t have any time. I’m too busy to throw 5,000+ words together in a coherent fashion.

This forces me to just do straight picks for the divisions and Super Bowls, while I will throw in a couple blurbs for the teams that deserve it (playoff teams in italics).

NFC East:
1. Dallas Cowboys (11-5): Please stop overreacting to preseason. It pains me to say but Tony Romo is really, really good. They have a defense with playmakers. The only concern should be this face.
2. New York Giants (10-6): If the defense is half-decent, the growth and maturation of Eli Manning over the last few years should propel them back to the playoffs.
3. Washington Redskins (9-7): I don’t care what their offensive line or receivers look like: Donovan McNabb wins and he wins no matter what is around him. He’s done it his whole career. With a solid defense, they’ll get the second wildcard.
4. Philadelphia Eagles (6-10): Don’t believe what Andy Reid or brainwashed Philadelphia radio hosts tell you: this team is rebuilding, and another thing: this team stinks. There are questions at quarterback, a horrendous offensive line, and a defense that struggled last year. Where are the positives? Look forward to the Aaron Rodgers air show in week one.

NFC North:
1. Green Bay Packers (13-3): Speaking of Mr. Rodgers aka Kevin Durant of the NFL aka my personal man crush, expect him to win the MVP. He may set records. I paid an inordinate amount of money for him in my auction draft. I had them going to the Super Bowl last year, so you can probably imagine how far I think they’ll go this year.
2. Minnesota Vikings (8-8): Brett Favre will return to his interception prone self without Sidney Rice.
3. Chicago Bears (5-11): Jay Cutler+ Mike Martz + a bad offense line= 5-11
4. Detroit Lions (3-13): Give them two years and they’ll be very dangerous.

NFC South:
1. New Orleans Saints (11-5): With Drew Brees, they will always be in contention. Especially in this crappy division
2. Carolina Panthers (7-9)
3. Atlanta Falcons (7-9): Don’t buy the hype: the defense is suspect and Michael “the burner” Turner is burned out.
4. Tampa Bay Buccaneers (2-14)

NFC West
1. San Francisco 49ers (5-11)
2. Seattle Seahawks (5-11)
3. Arizona Cardinals (5-11)
4. Rams (4-12)
Is this above scenario possible? Probably not but when you’re dealing with the worst division in the history of sports, ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE! Whenever you are being Sold Derek Anderson and Alex Smith as the guys leading sleeper teams, something has gone horribly wrong. I pray this will be the last time I ever write about these four teams this year.

AFC East
1. New York Jets (11-5) I was really high on the Jets last season. Watching Rex Ryan on Hard Knocks only made it better. Having Revis Island in the fold makes it even better.
2. Miami Dolphins (10-6): Chad Henne is good and everyone will realize this.
3. New England Patriots (8-8): I know Bill Belichick is a genius but his defense has no talent and he’s not spying on anyone anymore, so how are they going to stop people?
4. Buffalo Bills (1-15)

AFC North
1. Pittsburgh Steelers (11-5): If they can play .500 ball without Big Ben, he’s going to come back and light the world on fire.
2. Baltimore Ravens (10-6): I don’t entirely trust Joe Flacco or Anquan Boldin’s health, but Ray Rice is a bad man. Oh, and they still have Ray Lewis
3. Cincinnati Bengals (7-9): Dear everyone: Carson Palmer hasn’t been good since 2007.
4. Cleveland Browns (3-13)

AFC South
1. Indianapolis Colts (12-4): The last time they won less than 12 games, America just gained independence from England.
2. Houston Texans (8-8): I like Matt Schaub and Andre Johnson and nothing else.
3. Tennessee Titans (8-8): They can’t run Chris Johnson on every play.
4. Jacksonville Jaguars (3-13)

AFC West
1. San Diego Chargers (9-7): AJ Smith is an idiot.
2. Oakland Raiders (5-11)
3. Kansas City Chiefs (4-12)
4. Denver Broncos (2-14): Josh McDaniels is a giant idiot.

Super Bowl Pick
Packers over Jets